“Boys will be boys – nothin’ but trouble” is an old saying that was used in a song by the Miami Sound Machine. It makes it sound as if boys will be bad because they are boys. It almost appears that it is bad to be a boy. I wonder what God was thinking in creating us male and female. But then again, he created man and said it was good. So, what’s the scoop on boys? 

First, remember the big picture. Boys will become men so the character you foster along the way is paramount and actually in some ways no different from what we would want for girls who become women. We should train them to respect authority, to be useful and good family citizens, taught proper manners, obey their parents and legitimate authority figures, and be resourceful. 

If you take the time to watch boys play, you will notice they can be aggressive, creative, loud, quiet, imaginative, and determined. You may find them playing trucks in the sandbox, taking on the enemies in Star Wars or battling evil like Batman and Robin. Everything becomes a weapon of defense. In the same vein, they are building roads, houses, puzzles, and airplanes. Running, hitting or kicking balls, wrestling with dad, friends, or the dog. Climbing trees, riding bikes and skateboards, challenging their buddies to ‘take a chance.’ Did you notice how boys love to take things apart and put them back together again? And yes, they cry when they watch Where the Red Fern Grows. When it is all said and done, they are active physically and with their emotions. Let’s get it out there, boys sometimes appear goofy! Let’s let boys be boys and not feminize them! 

Boys are becoming men, therefore we are responsible to raise them to be: (1) Disciples of Christ (2) Servant leaders in their homes, churches and community (3) Good citizens (4) Providers and protectors of their families; good work ethic (5) Wise, discerning in friendships (6) Able to enjoy life: All work and no play is not healthy (7) Sexually chaste in and out of marriage (8) Lovers of their wives; understanding marriage (8) Single men have many of the same characteristic responsibilities (respect marriages, be physically chaste, etc.) 

God creates boys to exhibit all the qualities you see in their play. Remember, they are fallen creatures so these qualities will be flawed. Encourage them to be brave, but not bullies. Let them protect their families (and the downtrodden) and provide food (hunting) for themselves, their families, and their neighbors (guns, arrows, etc.). Give them service projects in the home (chores) to encourage servant leadership. Talk about sex at the appropriate time. Don’t be embarrassed – it is a gift from God not just for procreation (Song of Solomon). Teach them how to choose friends (Psalm 1). Boys are masculine by God’s design. They have a role to play in God’s plan, which is a high calling. 

Boys will be boys, praise God! 

Cyndy Shoemaker

Certified Leadership Parenting Coach